{"id":1175,"date":"2023-06-23T15:09:39","date_gmt":"2023-06-23T15:09:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2023-06-23T15:15:51","modified_gmt":"2023-06-23T15:15:51","slug":"i-need-that-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/?p=1175","title":{"rendered":"I Need That Thing!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Yan Krukau, via pexels.com.<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cIs this the Computer Robotics and Automation Programmingdepartment?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cYes, this is CRAP.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cOh good! I need a thing!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cUm, can you be more specific, what kind of thing<\/em> do you need?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cOh yes, it\u2019s that thing that Alice has over in the Business Underwriting and Resource Planning division.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cI\u2019m very familiar with BURP, but can you tell me what thing you\u2019re talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cOh yes, it\u2019s a very great thing. And we in the Business Accounting and Resource Focus division have the very same issues they have in BURP, so we need the same thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cRight. But BURP has a lot of things. What is the thing you are referring to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cAlice, over in BURP, can tell you. She said it fixed everything. I need everything fixed, too. Once my management hears that Alice fixed everything with the thing, they\u2019ll ask me why BARF doesn\u2019t have it, too!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cOkay, we\u2019ll set up a meeting with Alice and see if we can get to the bottom of this. In the meantime, I\u2019ll need you to complete the online intake form.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cThere\u2019s really no need for that. This must get this done, and fast. I am leaving the country for three years tomorrow, so there\u2019s no time to complete the form.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cWell, in CRAP, we prioritize requests based on the Level of Effort or LOE and the Return on Investment, or ROI. We need to know those things before we can proceed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cI can tell you this has all the ROI and no LOE. This just needs be done immediately. I can go to the CEO if you need me to, but I\u2019m leaving the country in a few minutes so there\u2019s no time. You just get the thing and let my assistant, Greg, know when it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cThat\u2019s not the way it works. We have hundreds of requests and projects underway. Unless you\u2019ll be funding it yourself, from your own budget, we need the intake done and then we\u2019ll evaluate your request against all the others.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cI have all the money, so yes, it will come from my budget. Greg will give you the money. I have all the money. Money is no object. This must get done immediately. It is the HIGHEST priority for the company \u2014 even the CEO doesn\u2019t know about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cWell, if you\u2019ll be funding it, then I will assign a project manager, a business analyst, a robotics developer, an automation developer and a legal representative to get started.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cThat\u2019s great news. You talk with Alice and Greg. It would be great if all of BARF could have the thing tomorrow. Bye for now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Mike: \u201cHi, Marcia. We\u2019ve got a TOP PRIORITY request from BARF. I need you to set up a meeting with Alice from BURP. She has a thing that Carol wants in BARF.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marcia: \u201cSure thing, Mike. What is the thing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike: \u201cAlice will tell you everything. Greg, in BARF, also knows the full story. This is your TOP PRIORITY. Assemble a full project team immediately. Carol is funding this and it has the CEO\u2019s attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Marcia: \u201cHi, Chachi, this is Marcia in BURP. Are you familiar with the thing they have over in BARF?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chachi: \u201cWhat thing, there are many things?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marcia: \u201cOh, right, the thing that fixed everything. We need to replicate that thing for BARF. This is the board\u2019s top priority \u2013 you’re authorized to drop everything to help with this initiative.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chachi: \u201cI\u2019m not familiar with the thing. Do you know who wrote it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marcia: \u201cI don\u2019t think anyone wrote it, it just works. Let\u2019s set up a meeting with Alice \u2013 she is in the loop.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Marcia: \u201cHi, Alice. Thank you so much for hopping on this call last-minute. We need the thing for Carol in BURP.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alice: \u201cMarcia, which thing are you referring to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marcia: \u201cThe one that has all of the ROI and fixes everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alice: \u201cOh, right. Yes, we stopped using the thing in 2018 because it didn\u2019t work. It was very expensive and broke everything. The Objective Obtainment Program Section, OOPS, was disbanded as a result. The thing is bad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Marcia: \u201cHello, Carol. We\u2019ve determined that the thing is no good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carol: \u201cOh, yes, totally bad. Not quite sure why you\u2019re looking at the Thing in the first place. Probably not a good use of your time. You may want to re-evaluate your CRAP priorities.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Carol: \u201cIs this the Computer Robotics and Automation Programmingdepartment?\u201d Mike: \u201cYes, this is CRAP.\u201d Carol: \u201cOh good! I need a thing!\u201d Mike: \u201cUm, can you be more specific, what kind of thing do you need?\u201d Carol: \u201cOh yes, it\u2019s that thing that Alice has over in the Business Underwriting and Resource Planning division. Mike: \u201cI\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1175"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1179,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1175\/revisions\/1179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aaronkuehn.net\/tol\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}